Performance Anxiety, part 1


I suppose, when I am dead,

they’ll know what to expect of me –

my input and my output I’ll maintain

Consistency’s the key, you see,

to meeting expectations

And when I’m dead, it’s dead I will remain!


Nobody’ll be frustrated

if their birthday card’s belated

No more coffee catch-ups cancelled on the day

If the chores begin to pile

I won’t be resting all the while,

as others toil to clear them all away


When the day has not been easy

I won’t suddenly feel queasy,

abandoning my post amidst the rush

And when the kids are crazy

no-one will wonder if I’m lazy

when I still sleep but they are forced to hush


When the pressure starts to rise

They won’t see anguish in my eyes

(no need to fret about my mettle too)

And if I’m not right there

they’ll know it’s not that I don’t care
(If only I could show how much I do)


No

I’ll raise no more false hope

that makes it hard to cope

when my body doesn’t rise, but falls instead


Indeed

Contemplating final curtains

I can, at least, be certain

that I’ll be quite predictable when I’m dead!